Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Nesting
I used to be a crafty person. Truly I did. The reason this blog is named "I really should be cleaning" is because I would often knit, scrapbook, read, or coupon my days away! And while it is true, I still should be cleaning- it is because I'm taking care of these crazy rugrats, or grocery shopping, or chatting with long distance friends on facebook cooking dinner or something like that. The past 3 weeks of waiting on this adoption have sent me back into my crafting mode though- definitely nesting. I've been going crazy trying to get some things done before my baby girl comes home. And I think a part of me is also trying to knit my way to her! :) Here are some of the projects I've been working on:
Scrapbook bunting for my friend's baby shower that I hosted. Ignore the ugly brown wood. We live in base housing remember? Also, ignore the fact that we don't have curtains...we hung the curtain rod only to realize we lost one of our curtains in the move. On my list- order more curtains!
Sewing pillow covers so we finally have pillows on our couch!
Knitting a winter hat for my new love bug! Colors are much prettier in person. Pattern from Itty-Bitty Hats book.
Christmas cards. Ok, this is not really nesting, but I did decide to write a lengthy letter with ours (unusual for me) and got a cute stone stamp with our name in Hangul to stamp on all of the letters. Plus it makes me feel more productive if I add it to this blog post. :)
Sewed a fabric bunting for the kids playroom. This room is definitely a work in progress.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Lifelong Love
Last week my husband's grandmother passed away. This week, his grandfather too passed away. They had both lived to be in their mid nineties and had spent the majority of their lives married to each other. Both of them had been deteriorating in health for some time. In fact, there was a time this summer where we thought he would die but he pulled through. My husband's grandpa was not an emotional man, unless you count getting worked up about politics to be emotional. He was a WWII veteran and enjoyed working on projects. My husband's grandma on the other hand, was probably the sweetest woman who ever lived. She gave selflessly (sometimes too much possibly) and loved Jesus. My favorite memory of the two of them was in December, after she had lost her sight and often did not remember her own daughters. When his grandpa sat down next to her and she was told that he was there, she reached up for his hand and proceeded to rub his fingers and hand. They just sat together like that for hours. When anyone else held her hand, she didn't do that. She truly loved him. And after seeing how he just gave up his will to live after she died, it is evident that he truly loved her too. I'm amazed at how that works. Praying that I will get to be married to my husband for as long as they were able to be together.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Habakkuk, where have you been all my life?
Several friends pestered me lovingly pointed out that I needed to post on my blog. I suppose I do. We have been blessed with the referral for an infant girl from the DRC. We have been moving forward in the process to bring her home. We still miss our Rory Grace so much, but have been very blessed with this new referral and with hope in our hearts that we will be able to bring her home to our family. She is officially our daughter legally, now we are working on our immigration forms, etc, etc. So much paperwork involved in adoption! And so much notarizing. And so much longing, and thinking, and praying. Dealing with the death of Rory has been very difficult but He has really been faithful to lead our family through it. We now miss her, and always will, but we are feeling much more healed. Our other major life stress still continues. It has been weighing on us for years. I am praying for resolution (praying for happy, JOYOUS resolution) in the next couple of months.
In a giant coincidence (okay, okay, yeah right. Totally not a coincidence. We know WHO decided I'd be doing those studies during this time) both of the Bible studies I am in are about God's faithfulness and presence during times of trial and suffering. In our church small group we are reading Spectacular Sins by John Piper. This book is all about the sovereignty of God, and what his role is in creating or allowing trials and suffering. The other women's Bible study is Lord, Where Are You When Bad Things Happen by Kay Arthur which focuses on the book of Habakkuk. I have never read the book of Habakkuk before (or maybe I have, but don't remember any of it!). I am absolutely certain that God saved these words for me to read during this time of my life. A time where we have been through a lot.
At the beginning of the book, Habakkuk says "How long, O Lord, will I call for help, and You will not hear?" This is often how I feel. That I have prayed for resolution to our current trial for so long. And that He is not hearing. He is not listening. He is not doing anything. I am the tantrumming two-year-old stomping my feet in front of the Lord. Why God, are you not taking away this burden? and Why did you have to allow Rory to die?
The Lord has given me answers to both situations in Habakkuk. He says in verse 5 "Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days- You would not believe if you were told". God is truly in control. His plan is so much bigger than I could imagine. He doesn't reveal His ways to us. We would not understand. I would not understand. Like that two-year-old, who doesn't like his father's choices, I, the tantrumming adult cannot understand my Father's will. I have to trust that He knows best. "For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3 His plan always succeeds, always occurs. His plan was for us to only love Rory from a distance, to see her in heaven someday, and to be the parents of our new precious daughter. His plan for our other trial will eventually come to light. As we walk through His plans, even if we don't understand them, we rejoice that He will be with us through it all. We hope that we will be able to bring our new daughter into our home and to be her parents here, for a very very long time. We also hope that we will be able to celebrate the end of our other trial soon, and that as it ends that it will end the way we desperately want it to end. At the end of it all, no matter what may come, we strive to have the same attitude and draw the same conclusions that Habakkuk did.
"Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places."
Habakkuk 3:17-19
Praise be to God.
In a giant coincidence (okay, okay, yeah right. Totally not a coincidence. We know WHO decided I'd be doing those studies during this time) both of the Bible studies I am in are about God's faithfulness and presence during times of trial and suffering. In our church small group we are reading Spectacular Sins by John Piper. This book is all about the sovereignty of God, and what his role is in creating or allowing trials and suffering. The other women's Bible study is Lord, Where Are You When Bad Things Happen by Kay Arthur which focuses on the book of Habakkuk. I have never read the book of Habakkuk before (or maybe I have, but don't remember any of it!). I am absolutely certain that God saved these words for me to read during this time of my life. A time where we have been through a lot.
At the beginning of the book, Habakkuk says "How long, O Lord, will I call for help, and You will not hear?" This is often how I feel. That I have prayed for resolution to our current trial for so long. And that He is not hearing. He is not listening. He is not doing anything. I am the tantrumming two-year-old stomping my feet in front of the Lord. Why God, are you not taking away this burden? and Why did you have to allow Rory to die?
The Lord has given me answers to both situations in Habakkuk. He says in verse 5 "Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days- You would not believe if you were told". God is truly in control. His plan is so much bigger than I could imagine. He doesn't reveal His ways to us. We would not understand. I would not understand. Like that two-year-old, who doesn't like his father's choices, I, the tantrumming adult cannot understand my Father's will. I have to trust that He knows best. "For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3 His plan always succeeds, always occurs. His plan was for us to only love Rory from a distance, to see her in heaven someday, and to be the parents of our new precious daughter. His plan for our other trial will eventually come to light. As we walk through His plans, even if we don't understand them, we rejoice that He will be with us through it all. We hope that we will be able to bring our new daughter into our home and to be her parents here, for a very very long time. We also hope that we will be able to celebrate the end of our other trial soon, and that as it ends that it will end the way we desperately want it to end. At the end of it all, no matter what may come, we strive to have the same attitude and draw the same conclusions that Habakkuk did.
"Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places."
Habakkuk 3:17-19
Praise be to God.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
He is here
The loss of my daughter has been an immense struggle for me this week. Added to that is the stress of being "alone" to weather it. My husband had to go away for the week for his job just 24 hours after we lost Rory. Couple that with just moving here and having a small (yet growing!) support system and living an ocean away from family...well it has been difficult. I was chatting online with a good friend and she said "The Lord really is making you depend solely on HIM isn't He?" It was like a board across my head. She was SO. SO. right. This situation is NOT a surprise to Him. He knew when she would pass away, He knew when we would move to Korea, He knew when my husband had to be away. It should have been obvious to me, but it wasn't. I have been trying to rely on Him but this was a reminder that I only NEED him. His comfort and love are all I need to heal. It has really helped remind me to give it ALL to him, rather than picking up the phone to call someone first.
That said- even though we are new- He is using SOOOOO many people, saying so many extremely kind things to minister to us. And that is an INCREDIBLE blessing to me/us. New friends, old friends, acquaintances near and far. I've had old friends drive up (or offer to drive up but then their kids get sick) from other bases to see me and distract me from my sadness, and new friends invite me and my kids to dinner. We've had so many encouraging emails with people saying how they read a Bible verse and it reminded them of us, and of course it is just the verse that I needed to hear. Last night we got an amazingly kind email from the pastor of our old church and his wife. I then decided to turn on some music while I got ready for bed and the song "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band came on. Listening to the lyrics about God's love for me made me think about all of the people surrounding us and lifting us in prayer. That is how He loves me. He is just POURING out his love through these people to me. Yes, this situation absolutely sucks. But because He loves me He is surrounding me with blessings.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/david_crowder/#share
That said- even though we are new- He is using SOOOOO many people, saying so many extremely kind things to minister to us. And that is an INCREDIBLE blessing to me/us. New friends, old friends, acquaintances near and far. I've had old friends drive up (or offer to drive up but then their kids get sick) from other bases to see me and distract me from my sadness, and new friends invite me and my kids to dinner. We've had so many encouraging emails with people saying how they read a Bible verse and it reminded them of us, and of course it is just the verse that I needed to hear. Last night we got an amazingly kind email from the pastor of our old church and his wife. I then decided to turn on some music while I got ready for bed and the song "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band came on. Listening to the lyrics about God's love for me made me think about all of the people surrounding us and lifting us in prayer. That is how He loves me. He is just POURING out his love through these people to me. Yes, this situation absolutely sucks. But because He loves me He is surrounding me with blessings.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/david_crowder/#share
Sunday, August 19, 2012
She is gone
Yesterday morning we received the news that no one wants to hear. Our precious daughter passed away unexpectedly in the DRC. From what we were told she was sick for only a day and then died. They don't know what she had or why she died. From what we knew she was healthy. We are absolutely heartbroken. We have prayed for her and talked about her, sent her packages and have held so much love in our hearts and hope and anticipation of the day we would hold her in our arms finally. Moving here, updating our homestudy...everything was falling into place. We were finally in the home we would bring her to. We were anticipating traveling in October or November.
The night before I was opening boxes and sorting our little girl clothes, planning which ones would fit her when she came home. I have piles on my living room floor ready to put in her drawers for a little girl who will never wear them. A little girl who I long to hold in my arms and snuggle tight. A little girl who I will never get to meet this side of heaven. My daughter.
We were told that the people who loved her and cared for her in the DRC will have a service of some type for her and a burial. This brings me comfort to know that she will be remembered in this way. It breaks my heart that I wasn't there when she was sick, and that I can't be there when they lay her in the ground. My poor sweet baby.
In just one day, a week and a half after moving here, we have received an amazing out pouring of love and support. Three separate people brought us flowers yesterday and we have received many many emails and fb messages of love. We treasure these and thank you all for these. I know the Mighty Counselor will help us heal. Already today is a little better than yesterday. For now we look forward to the day we meet her again in heaven and take comfort knowing that she is in a place so much better than we could ever create.
We love you, sweet Rory Grace. Forever.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
Job 1:21
(And no, this is in no way related to the other great or devastating news I talked about in the previous post. This is completely unexpected. That issue is still unresolved.)
The night before I was opening boxes and sorting our little girl clothes, planning which ones would fit her when she came home. I have piles on my living room floor ready to put in her drawers for a little girl who will never wear them. A little girl who I long to hold in my arms and snuggle tight. A little girl who I will never get to meet this side of heaven. My daughter.
We were told that the people who loved her and cared for her in the DRC will have a service of some type for her and a burial. This brings me comfort to know that she will be remembered in this way. It breaks my heart that I wasn't there when she was sick, and that I can't be there when they lay her in the ground. My poor sweet baby.
In just one day, a week and a half after moving here, we have received an amazing out pouring of love and support. Three separate people brought us flowers yesterday and we have received many many emails and fb messages of love. We treasure these and thank you all for these. I know the Mighty Counselor will help us heal. Already today is a little better than yesterday. For now we look forward to the day we meet her again in heaven and take comfort knowing that she is in a place so much better than we could ever create.
We love you, sweet Rory Grace. Forever.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
Job 1:21
(And no, this is in no way related to the other great or devastating news I talked about in the previous post. This is completely unexpected. That issue is still unresolved.)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
We made it
So much has been happening in our lives...I don't even know how to sum it up in a blog post. It probably needs ten posts...but one will have to do!
We made it to Korea 2 days ago. The kids and I traveled halfway around the world and lived to tell about it. They did fantastic on the flight over, and other than me not getting to sleep the entire time, a near meltdown after we landed and had to go through customs, having jet lag and then getting diagnosed with strep the day after we arrived, it went okay! :) We were met at the airport by my husband whom I hadn't seen in a month, and many amazing friends that we had been stationed with over the years. I'm so blessed.
We are starting to settle in somewhat. The suitcases look like they have exploded all over the house (that my hubs moved into after he got here). We have gotten our small initial shipment of our stuff and have government furniture until our main shipment gets here. We have a homestudy worker coming from Malaysia on Friday to do our homestudy update which we needed done only because of our move. It will be great to get that done and submitted to USCIS ASAP. Our main shipment ALSO may arrive on Friday...and while I'm looking forward to getting our stuff that we haven't seen in 2 months, I don't know if I can handle prepping for an update while getting all of our boxes at the same time. Plus our social worker may not be able to walk in our house if that happens! We may have to have them wait until Monday to deliver...but it sure would be nice to have our stuff! :)
On the adoption front things are moving along great. We are officially the parents of our new Congolese princess!!! She will be moved in the next few weeks to the agency's transition home so she can get all of her paperwork done and come HOME!!! We got updated pics of her a few weeks ago and she is so precious. She burned her poor little hand very badly so that was hard to see, but I got pictures of it a few weeks after the incident and it looked much better.
Our family could also really use prayer for an ongoing situation that I have alluded to in other posts. It is honestly the most stressful thing happening in my life right now (yes, more stressful than an overseas move and an overseas adoption combined!!). I'd love to be able to share more (don't hate me!) but I need to keep it offline for the time being. Hopefully someday I'll be able to share and it will be GREAT news (it will either be GREAT or DEVASTATING!!) but until then just send out a prayer for God's sovereignty in our life and His perfect peace to continue to surpass any worry in our minds.
Blessings to you and your families!
We made it to Korea 2 days ago. The kids and I traveled halfway around the world and lived to tell about it. They did fantastic on the flight over, and other than me not getting to sleep the entire time, a near meltdown after we landed and had to go through customs, having jet lag and then getting diagnosed with strep the day after we arrived, it went okay! :) We were met at the airport by my husband whom I hadn't seen in a month, and many amazing friends that we had been stationed with over the years. I'm so blessed.
We are starting to settle in somewhat. The suitcases look like they have exploded all over the house (that my hubs moved into after he got here). We have gotten our small initial shipment of our stuff and have government furniture until our main shipment gets here. We have a homestudy worker coming from Malaysia on Friday to do our homestudy update which we needed done only because of our move. It will be great to get that done and submitted to USCIS ASAP. Our main shipment ALSO may arrive on Friday...and while I'm looking forward to getting our stuff that we haven't seen in 2 months, I don't know if I can handle prepping for an update while getting all of our boxes at the same time. Plus our social worker may not be able to walk in our house if that happens! We may have to have them wait until Monday to deliver...but it sure would be nice to have our stuff! :)
On the adoption front things are moving along great. We are officially the parents of our new Congolese princess!!! She will be moved in the next few weeks to the agency's transition home so she can get all of her paperwork done and come HOME!!! We got updated pics of her a few weeks ago and she is so precious. She burned her poor little hand very badly so that was hard to see, but I got pictures of it a few weeks after the incident and it looked much better.
Our family could also really use prayer for an ongoing situation that I have alluded to in other posts. It is honestly the most stressful thing happening in my life right now (yes, more stressful than an overseas move and an overseas adoption combined!!). I'd love to be able to share more (don't hate me!) but I need to keep it offline for the time being. Hopefully someday I'll be able to share and it will be GREAT news (it will either be GREAT or DEVASTATING!!) but until then just send out a prayer for God's sovereignty in our life and His perfect peace to continue to surpass any worry in our minds.
Blessings to you and your families!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Inching along...
This past week finally brought a little bit of resolution to some items in my last post. We finally got our orders. What that means in the military world is that we were finally able to schedule packers, shippers, plane tickets, date to check out of our rental home, carpet cleaning, shipping our car, etc. A LOT of plans were hinging on getting those orders. We had been hearing that a lot of people were not getting movers when they wanted them as this is an EXTREMELY busy season in this area. People were having to rearrange vacations/cancel vacations, delay moves, etc. Despite our late orders we were still able to get movers scheduled in a very timely manner. In fact, it was better than we expected. The bad news is that means that one of our shipments goes out this week and I am SOOOO not ready! We have one quick shipment where we will send the items that we need as soon as we arrive in Korea (yet we will be without them for the next month or two...figure that out!), one main shipment of the remainder of things we want to go to Korea, and one final shipment will go to a storage facility to remain here in the U.S. for the two years we are in Korea. It is a LOT of sorting as you can imagine. And I'm really good at avoiding tasks like this until the last minute....except it already is the last minute! Ahh!
We also heard a teeny bit from our agency. We got a bill for our daughter's passport which doesn't mean much of anything except that they are beginning the process to get her one. Still it is progress! We also heard that our care package to her finally got sent. Which means (fingers crossed) that when it arrives we should see a picture of her soon after they deliver it!
Oh! And I almost forgot! We got our US immigration approval in the mail this week! I was SOOO thrilled! We'll have to reapply for this with our new info after we get to Korea, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem since we have this approval already.
We also heard a teeny bit from our agency. We got a bill for our daughter's passport which doesn't mean much of anything except that they are beginning the process to get her one. Still it is progress! We also heard that our care package to her finally got sent. Which means (fingers crossed) that when it arrives we should see a picture of her soon after they deliver it!
Oh! And I almost forgot! We got our US immigration approval in the mail this week! I was SOOO thrilled! We'll have to reapply for this with our new info after we get to Korea, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem since we have this approval already.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
